Okay, so whoever the wise guy is that’s been hassling the Eggman to come out of “sucklusion” is, I’d like them to quit signing as anonymous and face my wrath. I’m betting it’s the Nittany Cryin’ that can’t get over the 50-gallon drum of whoop-ass the Buckeyes delivered earlier this year and had his Starbucks replaced with Folgers crystals.
I’m going to be bored this winter with the NBA and the Super Bowl when the Pats win their 4th ring to debunk Don Shula – cheating or no cheating. Bring it on! Gus, Ollie, is it you? Are you taking this thing personally? You must have a sense of humor living in Milwaukee. You still have Laverne and Shirley Re-runs. What I’d give to hang with Lenny and Squiggy for a weekend.
Granted, Nostroeggus laid an egg on the Wisconsin game going for an audacious 14 points. But, no matter with Boeckman underthrowing for three picks or Tress the Vest blowing two timeouts (one not called and the other called) the prediction was yet again bold and should have been correct. My bookie sez so. (Argue with Felix. I dare you…) There will be no towing the Vegas line or eking a daring one or two points either way. C’mon. Where’s the fun? My crystal ball has been re-calibrated and we’re good to go.
There a lot of people shaking in their boots in Columbus right now. We knew some bad karma was coming our way. It just came a little early. We were the nail and Ron Zook was the hammer. Or, OSU couldn’t squeeze the juice out of Orange Williams. Something like that. There is a point to be made, here.
There many reasons why the Gods should smile at the Wolverines. Now we’re holding our collective breath – hiding behind a facade of tradition, the Big House, Woody and Bo – yada, yada. After being ranked 5th in the nation Michigan came out of the chute and suffered an embarrassing loss to Appalachian State, then back-to-back lost another to the formerly respectable Pac 10 Champion Oregon Ducks. Mr. Carr is having his last hurrah.
The kind people of Michigan had enough of their version of John Cooper with Tress as Llllloyd’s boogeyman. They just aren’t going to tar and feather Bo’s understudy. They’re going to blame it on the onset Parkinson’s and promote him to Michigan AD. Classy move. Or, is it just plain clever – waiting out Michigan alumni, Les Miles’ running the sand out of his hourglass at LSU?
There should be an element of sympathy for the Michigan seniors, even 0 and 3 running back and poor sport Mike Hart, the second worse interviewer next to OSU’s own Dr. Robert Smith.
“We should have, I could have, we will…”
Bite me.
He should have a fruitful Pro career – with the Cincinnati Bengals. One can only hope.
Michigan also can win the Big 10 and a trip to the Rose Bowl if they beat the Buckeyes. Some say, Lllloyd, although a man of character rested the “injured” Hart and quarterback Chad Henne to lay down like a $10 ho against Wisconsin to be ready for “The Big Game.” It has been double hush hush, but, you can guarantee they’ll both play their final game even on crutches or with an injection of some kind of ‘cain.
What a great way to save face and revitalize their program going from riches to rags to riches. It’s the stuff stories are made of. I’ve already ghost-written the script for Al Gore – and man are we going to be rich(er). We’ll be able to buy hydrogen-powered RVs and have bitchin’ tailgates with Mr. Gates, Sir Richard Branson and Sean Penn if I must indulge him.
Despite all the hoo haw, the Eggman has come down from the mountain on a tattered, yet proud magic carpet to pee on the Wolverines’ legs – that the sound of Hail to the Victor will be interrupted by the beeping of the OSU dump truck full of monkey dung backing into the Big House.
Here’s how it goes:
OSU was superior to in every total category to Penn State and Wisconsin respectively. Michigan is one notch below them. Somebody tell me that that doesn’t count for something? And, the have two injured seniors driving their fiery chariot to Hades. The backup quarterback, Mallet (cool name – although unpopularly French) is a freshman and got his bells rung by the Badgers. I don’t care how good your line is, you cannot count to 15 in the pocket.
Regardless of home field advantage with a twelfth man and storybook potential, the kinetics behind Tressel’s machine should grind them down. Buy how much? What else? Fourteen points. Go figure. Buckeyes win 31 to 17.
