How Do You Kick Them When They’re Already Down (Year II)

It was this time last year that for the first time in my long, great hatred of all things _ichigan, I found myself questioning, searching, trying to find some sense of reason. Last year though, I cold chalk it up to a rebuilding year. Coach Rodriguez was new, give him a chance, it can only get better.

It hasn’t.

And although I thought the 42-7 pasting we gave them last year was about as humiliating as it gets, things have only gotten worse for that school up north. Since that last ROTC push up, even more players have dropped out, accusations have flown, fans are beyond angry and as one looking to spew his hate…well…I’m a little off balance.

So as I stand here looking out over the wasteland that has become _ichigan football, I want to flash back to a better time. Back to 2006 when a #1 Ohio State met a #2 Michigan for the one of the greatest games college football has ever known. It was in the run up to that year that I was asked by CSTV.com to participate in a “Battle of the Blogs.” Standing across from me that day was Brian Cook of MGoBlog who pointed out the importance of this great game when he said:

…The truth is that Michigan and Ohio State need each other. Believe me, I hate to admit it – I’m typing this poised over the sink in case the gagging becomes too much for my stomach – but it’s true. Like Republicans and Democrats, we need the alien other to irrationally hate. We need to push against them as they push back, lest we fall over. And despite the fact that I have solid information that my esteemed colleague has sexytime with bunny rabbits before consuming their still-living flesh, his existence gives me something to battle against, and thereby his sordid, wretched life is imbued with meaning.

Yes, there are others to battle. Michigan has a lot of rivals. Ask virtually anyone in the Big Ten. But Michigan does not define itself in terms of Wisconsin or Illinois or even Michigan State and Notre Dame. Either of those schools could be teleported to Estonia tomorrow and Michigan football would continue on unperturbed. We could find a suitable non-conference opponent to replace Notre Dame… We could play Central or Western or Temple or whoever in place of State…life would go on.

Suddenly remove Ohio State and Michigan staggers. There is no replacement. Unopposed, they trip forward into a void of meaninglessness. Who does Desmond win his Heisman against? Who does Woodson dominate en route to the National Championship? What is the bright star in Tim Biakabutuka’s career? Who is Sauron in Mordor? Who do we play at the end of the year? In short, what the hell is the point?

At this point Cook went on to accuse me of drinking the blood of newborns, torturing puppies and a number of other things but he eventually returned to The Game:

…Lord knows they [Ohio State fans] wouldn’t know what to do without Michigan. They’d have to focus their hatred on some other state …, but it wouldn’t be the same. That State Out East? That State Down South? Doesn’t have the same ring.

Michigan is defined by Ohio State. Ohio State is defined by Michigan. Their tradition, their best tradition, is each other.

How painfully prophetic those words. Who could have predicted that only three years later we find ourselves towering over those sordid, wretched wraiths with our fifth straight Big Ten Championship, a dozen roses already wilting on the vine, staring down the barrel of our sixth win over our once great rivals. Who could have predicted that I would find myself here today, wanting to lay out a year’s worth of hatred in a way that only Ohio State/Michigan fans can understand but instead, find myself looking into the abyss.

Maybe the letdown after Iowa will be too much. Maybe Mich1AAgan will find an inner resolve, maybe as is tradition with The Game, what has happened during the regular season won’t matter. Then again, maybe pigs will fly out of my ass but I’m not betting on it.

So for now I will pull myself up, strap myself into the old fighting chair and from this point on, pound away at the keyboard like it’s 2006. But before I go, a lone comment on an earlier post caught my ear…a voice that sounded vaguely familiar yet so empty and distant. The hatred is still there but it has turned on itself. Yes, a sworn enemy now seeking the same outcome as me and to be honest, for the same reasons.

I’ll leave you with his thoughts:

“Tell Tressel to do us a favor up north and don’t worry about keeping it out of triple digits. We have a hillbilly we want to send back to WV.”