Is it just me or is this getting too easy?

The University of Michigan team has adopted a new Honor System:
‘Yes, your Honor; No, your Honor’.

The Wolverines are hoping for an undefeated season this year….
11 Arrests, 0 convictions.

Q: How did the Wolverines spend the first week of Spring Training?
A: Studying their Miranda rights.

UofM Recruit:
As a high-school football coach, I’m aware that student
athletes tend to focus too much on sports. A fellow coach, Bob,
was talking about one such player, who called him at home
one night. When his wife informed the kid that Bob wasn’t
home, he became frantic and said he had to speak to the
coach right away.
“Just calm down, and I’ll have him call you as soon as he
gets home,” the coach’s wife told him. “What’s your number?”
The flustered kid replied, “Three.”

Q. Where do you go in Ann Arbor in case of a tornado?
A. To the Big House – they never have a
touchdown there.

Q. What do you call a Michigan Wolverine with a National Championship ring?
A. A thief.

RichRod, The Michigan football coach, walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.” The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, “Okay, now concentrate… what is two plus two?”
The player thought for a moment and then he answered, “4?”
“Did you say 4?!?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.
At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, “Come on coach, give him another chance!”

Q: What do you get when you have a basement full of Michigan fans?
A: A Whine Cellar

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus?
A: A Buckeye Babe.

Q: How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator?
A: Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.

Q: What words do you most often hear from a career minded U of M graduate?
A: “Would you like fries with that?”

Q: What are the four hardest years in the life of a Michigan Wolverine Player?
A: Second Grade.

Q: What do you call a 250 lb. Michigan female cheerleader?
A: Anorexic

Q: What is blue and yellow and has two teeth?
A: The front row at Michigan Stadium.

Q: What’s the difference between a Michigan cheerleader and an elephant?
A: About 50 pounds.
Q: How do you make up the difference?
A: Force feed the elephant.

Q: What is a Michigan football player’s favorite pick-up line?
A: Didn’t we almost flunk out together?

Q: How do you keep a Michigan player from drowning??
A: Take your foot off their head.

The only thing stopping Michigan cheerleaders from going to Jenny Craig is the door frame.

Michigan babies are soo ugly their incubators are tinted.

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a graduate of the University of Michigan,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”

A Professor invents an IQ machine that boosts a person’s IQ to 300 and then starts counting backward. He connects his wife to it, turns it off at 190, and she starts explaining quantum physics. He tries it out on his brother Bill, turns it off at 175, and Bill starts talking advanced calculus. Then he plugs in his cousin Bob. Just then the phone rings, and it’s a telemarketer. By the time he gets back to unplug Bob, the machine is counting down: 14 – 13 – 12. He slams the switch to “off,” shakes Bob and screams, “Say something!” and Bob says, “Go blue!”

Q: Why did Michigan change their field from grass to artificial turf?
A: To keep the Michigan cheerleaders from grazing at half time.

UofM ENTRANCE EXAM- FOOTBALL PLAYER VERSION
Time Limit: 3 WKS
1. What language is spoken in France?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
A. build a bridge
B. sail the ocean
C. lead an army or
D. WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope?
A. Jewish
B. Catholic
C. Hindu
D. Polish
E. Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (Approximately)
8. What are people in America’s far north called?
A. Westerners
B. Southerners
C. Northerners
9. Spell — Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.
11. Where does rain come from?
A. Macy’s
B. a 7-11
C. Canada
D. the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein’s Theory of Relativity?
A. yes
B. no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
17. Which part of America produces the most oranges?
A. New York
B. Florida
C. Canada
D. Wisconsin
18. Advanced math. If you have three apples, how many apples do you have?
19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for?
20. The University of Michigan tradition for efficiency began when? (approximately)
A. B.C.
B. A.D.
D. still waiting

*You must answer three or more questions correctly to qualify.

GO BUCKS!!

Abe is our winner. Seems the judges liked the current events aspect of Abe’s touchdown celebrating dachshund.

Abe will win a copy of the A&E Woody Hayes documentary. Thanks all for contributing.

http://skisteep.com/muckfichigan.jpg

To beat OSU is their wish again,

But losing six straight,

Seems likely their fate,

That vict’ry, those boys, they will miss again.
.
.
In Ann Arbor is Rodriguez, Rich,

Too bad he can’t find his niche,

Screams night and day,

When things don’t go his way,

Not beating the Bucks is a bitch.

The bartender said, “Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You’ll have to leave!”

The guy begged him, “Look, I’m desperate. We’re both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!”

After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will both be thrown out if there’s any trouble, the bartender relented and allowed them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The big game began with the Wolverines receiving the kickoff. They marched down the field, got stopped at about the 30, and kicked a field goal.

With that the dog jumped up on the bar, and began walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.

The bartender said, “Wow, that is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen! What does the dog do when the Wolverines score a touchdown?”

The owner replied, “I don’t know, I’ve only had him for 4 years.”