I always get a emailbox full of Ohio State/Michigan jokes the week leading up to OSU/Michigan but one arrived in my box today that I just need to share.
This comes from a friend in Colorado. For you Buckeye fans in Columbus, those of us who have moved out of state soon find ourselves lost in a world of people that just don’t understand. We have to put up with things like regular comparisons between the Maryland Terps and the Buckeyes. You try to explain but it does no good. Some things just can’t be understood.
But I digress. My friend in Colorado sent this out explaining why he would not be able to attend a neighborhood gathering of non Ohio State fans to watch the big game. (This is a real letter. Names have been changed or removed to protect the…well he’s not innocent in any way…I just took the names out.
Dear _____,
No, I won’t be able to come over Sat. to watch the game.
I am probably going to sit in front of my T.V. with title hopes on the line. I think I will wear a Depends so I don’t have to leave the room. Oh wait! I have TiVO now.
Really, I can’t go to a party this year. I must maintain some bit of composure when I am at a party. I would simply embarrass myself with my overwhelming enthusiasm or my sniveling, crying, feminine side before, during, and after the game. At home, I can throw that decorum out the window.
And I’m going to stuff my face with Skyline Chili Dogs and White Castles. And I’m probably going to drink. A lot. And after the Buckeyes win, I’m going to run down the street and wave my OSU flag in front of (name of Michigan fan removed)’s house and tell him he should have named his new born son Brutus, Jim, Troy, Antonio or Gonzo. And I might even do that naked. Then I’m going to call Craig and wake him up from his nap. And hopefully smoke a Cohiba Corona to celebrate. Or, I’ll be in jail because (said Michigan fan) called the cops cause I was naked…
Besides, I’ve already got my room booked for Glendale…I need to go take my blood pressure pills now.
GO BUCKS!
To many of you passing through this site, it may seem a little strange. For us Buckeye fans living in exile, we can completely understand.
Good luck Alan…oops!
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I wonder how many people are saying,
“I’VE DONE THAT BEFORE…”
I thought the naked down the street run was a requirement…
you forgot to remove Craig’s name!
Oops, how did I forget to do that. You mean I forgot to take out Craig To…opps I almost did it again.
If I mail you wieners a bag of dog doo to Denver and Annapolis, will you promise to simultaneously light them on fire and stomp them on your front porches? I can text “Ding Dong!” Say the word. Deal?
Goo Goo Ga Jube