Not that this surprises any of us:

It was just a matter of time

A non Ohio State/Michigan friend of mine (Topcultured.com) posted this the week after Michigan game but in an attempt to move on…I let it go. Now it’s on Huffington Post so may as well. Apparently it really did appear on the UM Campus. I’ll let you decide if it was a joke.

That’s what six years of beating Michigan looks like–2,191 days. The next time Michigan steps up for their annual beat down, they will have gone 2,191 days without knowing what it is like to win The Game.

And while it was great to see the Buckeyes win, in typical Buckeye fan fashion, the game was not without concerns. We one and that’s what counts but there certainly weren’t any style pointsl. It’s not that we didn’t beat the spread–besides, I got in at 11 so I broke even. Maybe its just that there wasn’t enough pain inflicted.

My biggest frustration comes with the play calling (again). The Wolverine defense fronts one of the worst secondaries in the Big Ten if not college football yet we failed to take advantage. I’m not even sure we tried. I could probably count the number of passing plays up the middle on one hand. As usual, Trees was playing it way conservative and when we gave up an interception, which was not Pryor’s fault, he pulled it in even closer. It worked against Michigan but will it play in the Rose Bowl.

Maybe he knows something we don’t. Maybe he still doesn’t have faith in his young quarterback. Maybe, since Michigan pretty much sucks, he was holding back the real stuff for the Rose Bowl…sort of surprise attack. Maybe he didn’t wanted to keep it close in an attempt to keep D Rod around as long as possible. He knows he’s got a softy sitting across the field–why knock a good thing.

For now, I’m going with surprise attack and keep D-Rod as long as possible. With that here’s some quick thoughts on the weekend:

Let Pryor throw the ball
Buckeyes put up a total 67 yards passing with Pryor going 9/17 averaging a measly 3.9 yards per play. I’m not going to knock him for the interception. The pass may have been a little high but it had some heat on it and it should have been caught. Meanwhile Forcier threw for 226 yards. Sure, he also threw four interceptions but Ohio State should have been putting up numbers like that.

I would have loved to see Tress abuse the Michigan secondary. It would have given Pryor a much needed confidence boost and it would have been a lot more fun to watch. Open up on them quick. If it doesn’t work, go back to the conservative, three-yards-and–a-cloud-of stuff. Instead of putting them away early and playing from a position of power, we let them stick around way too long. I don’t know who’ll we’ll play in the Rose Bowl but that stuff won’t play against Oregon.

Enjoy the turnovers
Add a fumble to the four interceptions and yeah, Michigan looked pretty bad. While they didn’t get any help from our defense, they didn’t do themselves any favors either. Our defense is good but I’m not going to count on that type of action in the Rose Bowl. Sure would be nice if we did though.

Pressure and Contain/Zone Coverage
Is it me or did it seem like the defense was holding back. They needed to paste Forcier a good one early — put the fear in him. Would have been a different game if they had. Also don’t know what was up with that coverage in the secondary. It wasn’t working but we kept doing it over and over.

Michigan is young
With a young team like this, you would think that they will be a threat in the next couple of years. I don’t see it though. Not with D-Rod at the helm. Chances are they won’t send him packing this year but it’s coming.

Anybody want to make book on Forcier
I’m thinking he announces he’s gone before the first bowl game. Michigan’s got two quarterbacks coming in behind him. There’s been plenty of talk that he and D-Rod aren’t getting along. From what I hear, Rice would love to have him.

Maybe they can get Les Miles
Anybody see Miles blow the game against Old Miss? I haven’t looked but I can’t believe the fans aren’t calling for his head. Not only did he sit back and watch about two plays tic off the clock, when presented with an opportunity to chip it in for the win, the coaching staff wasn’t ready. For the record, you can’t spike the ball without moving the clock. Talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Go UConn
This has nothing to do with Ohio State/Michigan but what a game. By the time it was over, both teams were in tears. One because they finally pulled out a win in what has been a very difficult season. The other because they lost in what has been a very difficult season. You’ve really got to feel for UConn. After losing a teammate in a violent crime, they’ve lost their last five games by less then four points each. As much as I enjoy watching ND lose, it was great to see UConn win for all the right reasons. After the game, their coach could barely talk he was so overwhelmed.

The contrast across the field was disturbing. Coach Wies and his seniors were also choking up but for different reasons. UConn players and coaches who are still mourning the death of a teammate. Notre Dame just lost another game. Chances are it was Wies’ last and the entire program has felt the heat. Apparently Weis spent most of Saturday night consoling crying players.

I’m sorry but I don’t feel a lot of sympathy. It will take around $18 million to buy out Wies’ contract not to mention the assistant coaches who will need to be bought out. Naturally, just because they’re Notre Dame, they still have an outside shot at a BCS game.

(Sorry, first draft stuff today. Real world getting in the way. I’ll go back and fix later if I get a chance.)

Before I get into any sort of game analysis, I’ve got to express my frustration with the Ohio State Athletic Dept. and the scheduling decisions they’ve made as of late. While I can understand scheduling a smaller, in-state school early in the season, to schedule a school as soft as the school we meet this weekend is unexcusable. Ohio State plays on a national level. In order to gain the respect needed to stay in the BCS hunt year after year, we need to schedule the best of the best. The team we face this weekend just doesn’t qualify.

Unlike the SEC and other conferences, there is no conference playoff in The Big Ten. If we ever want to gain the respect we are due, the Buckeyes can’t afford to play second rate teams in November.

That aside, I’ve only got time for a quick look at this weekends matchup against the Mac Conference slumpbust, Mich1AAchigan.

If ever there was a game made for Tresselball, especially the Tresselball of late, this is the game. The Meatchicken has been a sieve on defense against the run giving up more then 160 yards per game. They do front a strong defensive line though and have the ability to pressure the quarterback. The secondary however, not so good. Expect Tressel to run the ball and run the ball again until he can’t run it any more and then he’ll probably run it again. Tress has done more then enough to demonstrate his concern with the turnover and what better way to protect the ball then to tuck and run. Look for the Buckeyes to get the ball and slowly march it down the field with a few big plays thrown in for good measure.

However, while the Michigan pass rush has been effective this season and they’ve managed a number of sacks. The Buckeye offensive line though is healthy, has stepped up their game protecting Pryor and Pryor’s decision making has matured by leaps and bounds. Look for him to roll out to the safety of the sides and take advantage of the week secondary.

On defense, Forcier has been prone to turnovers and don’t tell me the Ohio State defensive front aren’t looking to eat him alive. Ohio State’s pass pressure will have a huge impact on this game. If they can force the turnover, and they will, _ichigan doesn’t stand a chance.

The only thing the Wolverines have going for them is Coach D-Rod and his team are backed into a corner like a hunted beast making it’s last stand against a well armed pack of hunters. It’s only hope is that they can somehow find the motivation in the fact that this is The Game. Problem is, I don’t think their coach has it in them, there is too much infighting and face it, Tressel knows how to beat the whore.

The Buckeyes have been burned a couple of times by freshman quarterbacks and I got burned last week on the spread. I don’t think it’s going to happen Saturday. I’m looking for the shutout and you know if given the chance, they’ll do it.

We all know things are bad up north. Really bad. And while it’s true I yearn for the great rivalry of years past, there’s a strange satisfaction in their suffering.

What makes it even more enjoyable is the way they opened their season on such false hopes. While we were taking our lumps against USC, our favorite 1AA school was off to a 4-0 start against powerhouses like Western Michigan and Notre Dame (another 1AA splattered on the shore of false hopes). By week two they had cracked the top 25 and moved all the way to No. 22 after playing Indiana. (I refuse to count Indiana as a win because we all know how that should have ended). Sure, they faced a slight setback against Michigan State but they proved their worth against Delaware State. Yeah the Hornets lost a defensive struggle to Bethune-Cookman but they are still a force in the MAEC. If DSU can get past Howard this weekend, they should have a lock on eighth place in the division.

And then it all came crashing down. It’s true. Rich Rod and his boys in the fairy-winged helmets haven’t won a game since that triumphant day against Delaware.

And while the _ichigan defense has allowed an average 39 points in their last four games, it’s not the on field performance I want to look at today. It’s the problems off the field and the frustrated fan base that I’d like to explore.

We’ll begin our tour with coach D-Rod who’s once again found himself on the defensive. Just this Monday, the Detroit News reported that the coaching staff failed to file player practice logs. Naturally, this only builds on the accusations which began back in August.

NCAA allegations aside, conflicts between D-Rod and his players still seem to be rearing their ugly head. Last week it was QB Tate Forcier who had his “differences” with the coach. Apparently it was little more then a lover’s spat and they’ve since made up. The dust up was enough to trigger rumors that Forcier may participate in what is becoming one of my favorite _ichigan traditions – transferring to another school.

Justin Boren isn’t the only one to see the light and get out while he still has a chance of saving his football career. After the Buckeyes kicked the shit out of Mich1AAgan last year, Sam McGuffie decided that football powerhouse Rice would be better then playing at the Meatchicken. Of course, the way Spitler laid him out, it’s no wonder. Apparently his high school acrobatics didn’t work against the Buckeyes and better get out then face a beating like that three more times. (I was at the game and there is no question that was the biggest hit I have ever seen. You could here it in the stands. When McGuffie got up, he sort of walked around in a circle until a team mate pointed him toward the bench and he staggered off.)

At least they’ve got leadership at the top keeping it together. Or then again, maybe not. Seems there was an angry old seen pushing around students at the games this year. On two separate occasions, athletic director Bill Martin was accused of pushing student gate attendants who asked for his I.D. You would think that students would recognize the man who hired coach D-Rod by now. How many times do you need to burn him in effigy before he starts to look familiar?

The fan base isn’t doing any better. From the blogs:MgGoblog appears to have checked out and is running on fumes. Maize and Brew has taken to eating their own. Don’t forget the T-Shirts (pictured at right).

Then there’s the geniuses over at Maize and Blue Nation who didn’t get the satire when Sports Illustrated writer Stewert Mandel took this Tressel quote:

“We told our guys they could have three hours to savor that, but when the clock strikes 12 o’clock, we know what week it is,” coach Jim Tressel said.

and added (still quoting Tressel)

“I’m just playing with you guys. They have no defense. … Take a couple of days off.”

The accuracy of this photo was a hot topic on the Mich!AAgan blogs

This seems way out of character for The Vest…but there it is. And while I question the voracity of this quote, I can’t seem to find anything that is telling me this is either real or fake. I’m about 99.99% sure it’s fake…but it’s on SI.com…with no footnote or disclaimer saying its not genuine.

Your guess is as good as mine. But if it’s true (or fake for that matter)…this is all the bulletin board material we’ll ever need to step up this weekend. Whether Tressell or Mandel said it doesn’t matter that much. The truth hurts either way.

I’m mean it’s on SI.com isn’t it? I’ts got to be true. Personally, I’m about 99.99% sure that whoever posted that over at Maize and Blue Nation is a _ichigan grad. Of course, he’s not the only diploma waving _ichigan alum wondering about the quote. After deciding that it must be a joke, the discussion turns to acceptance and then the justification that somehow, it might help the defense.

Finally, in a last ditch effort to lift their spirits, Meatchicken fans have taken to making videos out of Ohio State highlights (below). I guess when you’ve got to go back six years, it’s a little hard to make these videos.

With that I see it’s getting late. It’s 12:02 and…

What started as an open thread in 2007 has turned into a library of Michigan jokes. And while it’s getting harder and harder to post a new joke, that’s what it will take to win the second annual Mich1AAgan joke contest.

Post your favorite Meatchicken joke below for your chance to win a copy of “Woody Hayes’ Ohio State Buckeyes” on DVD.

Our esteemed staff of comedic experts will pick (possibly at random) the best as the winner of this year’s prize.

Here’s my 2009 entry.

(Update) For those of you who stopped by here earlier, I’m afraid I couldn’t get Ohio State Snuggie I was hoping to give away. Don’t worry, the Woody Hayes DVD is good. This year’s jokes start with “Shoeworkers” below.

I’ve included jokes from the past two years below the picture and you can see last year’s winning joke here.  Enjoy!

webmaster3000 November 14, 2007 at 12:52 pm [edit]

Q: Why did Michigan change their field from grass to artificial turf?
A: To keep the Michigan cheerleaders from grazing at half time.

One day in an elementary school in Ann Arbor Michigan, a teacher asks her class if the Michigan Wolverines are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, “What’s your favorite football team Jimmy?”
Little Jimmy says, “The Ohio State Buckeyes.”
The teacher asks, “Well, why is that?”
Little Jimmy says, “Well, my dad is a Buckeye fan, my mom is a Buckeye fan, I guess that makes me a Buckeye fan.”
The teacher angered by his reply says, “If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?”
Little Jimmy says, “Well, I guess that would make me a Michigan fan.”

One foggy night, a Buckeye fan was heading north from Columbus and a Michigan fan was driving south from Ann Arbor. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.
The Michigan fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, “Man, I’m lucky to be alive!”
Likewise, the Buckeye fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.
The Wolverine fan walks over to the Buckeye fan and says, “Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals.”
The Buckeye fan thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you’re absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I’m going to see if something else survived the wreck.”
The Buckeye fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel’s. He says to the Wolverine, “I think this is another sign–we should toast to our newfound friendship.” The Wolverine fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Wolverine fan hands it back to the Buckeye fan and says, “Your turn!”
The Buckeye fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, “Nah, I think I’ll just wait for the cops to show up.”

Q: What do Michigan and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q: What’s the difference between a University of Michigan fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the University of Michigan campus. That’s the last place you would find a football player.

Q: Why don’t University of Michigan fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.

Q: Why do University of Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus?
A: A visitor.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Michigan library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: Why should the University of Michigan change its name to the “Opossums”?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What does the average University of Michigan student get on his SAT?
A: Drool

Q: What do you get when you cross a groundhog and a Wolverine?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.
The genie said to the General, “I will grant you one wish.” The General replied, “I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war.”
The genie responded, “I’m not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish.”
“Well,” the General responds, “then can you have University of Michigan win a bowl game this year?”
After a moment, the genie says, “Let me see that map again.”

Q: How do you make University of Michigan cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours

Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Michigan fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There’s some things that a pig will not do.

Q: How many University of Michigan freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it’s a sophomore course.

Ann Arbor News Report: Football practice in Ann Arbor was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field.
The head coach, Lloyd Carr, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.
Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q. What did the Michigan graduate say to the Ohio State graduate?
A. “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order, please?”

It was reported that Michigan head football coach Lloyd Carr will only be dressing twenty players for the Ohio State game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

Q: How do you get a Michigan grad off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: What’s the only sign of intelligent life in Ann Arbor?
A: Columbus: 187 Miles

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Ohio State grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.
As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting “This is for the Fighting Irish!” as he fell to his doom.
Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, “This is for the Nittany Lions!”
Seeing this the OSU grad walked over and shouted “This is for the Buckeyes!” and pushed the Wolverine off the side of the mountain.
GO BUCKS!

Annapolisbuckeye November 14, 2007 at 9:52 pm [edit]

That’s the stuff we’re looking for!!

A big thanks goes out to Webmaster 3000.

Annapolisbuckeye November 15, 2007 at 5:00 am [edit]

When Bo died last year, he went up to heaven (yeah, he got in) to find St. Peter waiting for him. St. Pete greeted him and said, “Bo, come on in, we’ve been expecting you. Let me take you to your new place.”

St. Pete lead Bo down the road until they got to this cozy little cabin, a little worn for wear, with a little Michigan flag waving in the front yard.

Bo moved in and made himself at home.

That evening, Bo thought he’d go out for a walk and see the neighborhood. He walked about a block when he got to this giant mansion built out of scarlet and gray colored bricks. The driveway formed a Block O and the Ohio State Marching Band could be seen performing Script Ohio in the back yard.

Bo didn’t know what to think. On his way home, he stopped by to see St. Peter.

“I’m not one to complain,” Bo told St. Peter. “But why does Woody have such an amazing house and I just have that little cabin.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” St. Peter replied.

“That house, about a block from my house. Why does Woody get a mansion and I only get this little cabin,” Bo said.

St. Peter took one look at where Bo was pointing and said, “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s not Woody’s house. That house belongs to God.”

jacob whisler September 21, 2008 at 2:05 am [edit]

one day a michigan fan and an OSU fan were in a bathroom. They got done and the OSU fan was about to leave. The Michigan fan said to the OSU fan “At michigan they teach us to wash our hands. The OSU fan looks at the Michigan fan and says “At OSU they teach us not to pee all over ourselfs

buckeymaniac September 21, 2008 at 2:09 am [edit]

one day an OSU fan a michigan fan and a notre dame fan were having a race to see who could jump off a bridge and see who made it down first. The michigan fan lost of course cuz he had to stop and ask for directions

white jokes October 26, 2008 at 4:14 pm [edit]

Thanks you’ve posted some awesome jokes!

Steven November 8, 2008 at 3:26 pm [edit]

Q. Why di they stop serving ice at Michigan games?

A. The senoir who knew the recipe graduated

Mike November 20, 2008 at 6:53 am [edit]

It’s 4th and goal, with Michigan having the ball at the Ohio State 3. OSU leads 17-13 with 2 seconds to play. Rich Rodriguez calls his last time out.

Rodriguez looks towards the Heavens and says, “God, it’s been a rough year. I understand you letting Notre Dame beat us, but making us lose to Toledo was just mean. I know I’ve used your name in vain too often this season, but I really need this win. What play should I call?”

And all of a sudden, Rodriguez, and only him, hears a bellowing voice, “Pro, king, 48 toss.”

Rodriguez’s eyes light up. He looks up, sees the face of God. “Yes, that’s it,” he exclaims, “Thanks God.”

So he sends in the play. Nick Sheridan tosses the ball to Brandon Minor around the right end. Minor sees a hole, cuts inside, and looks like he will score. Rodriguez throws his arms up in the air in triumph.

Then, all of a sudden, James Laurinaitis comes out of nowhere, and tackles Minor just short of the goal line. Ohio Stadium erupts, as Rodriguez falls to his knees, stunned.

He looks up, and sees God’s face again. Sorrowfully, he asks, “God, why did you tell me to call that play?”

God hesitates, looks to his left, and says, “Hey Woody, why did we call that play?”

kmzipsgolf November 20, 2008 at 8:32 pm [edit]

Little Rhett was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up— fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.

Little Rhett was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. ‘My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer’s really good, he’ll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money.’

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took little Rhett aside to ask him, ‘Is that really true about your father?’

‘No,’ said little Rhett, ‘He coaches Michigan football, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.’

kmzipsgolf November 21, 2008 at 5:28 am [edit]

Q: What time is it?
A: It’s 10:28PM, and Michigan still sucks.

Bryan November 25, 2008 at 6:49 pm [edit]

Q: How do you stop a Michigan fan from masterbating?

A: Paint his dick scarlet and gray. he wont beat it for four yearsc

MaliBuckeye November 25, 2008 at 6:54 pm [edit]

What do you get when you cross a Wolverine with a groundhog?

Six more weeks of crappy football.

Steve November 25, 2008 at 6:56 pm [edit]

Why won’t Michigan play OSU this year?
They can’t get past Toledo.

It was this time last year that for the first time in my long, great hatred of all things _ichigan, I found myself questioning, searching, trying to find some sense of reason. Last year though, I cold chalk it up to a rebuilding year. Coach Rodriguez was new, give him a chance, it can only get better.

It hasn’t.

And although I thought the 42-7 pasting we gave them last year was about as humiliating as it gets, things have only gotten worse for that school up north. Since that last ROTC push up, even more players have dropped out, accusations have flown, fans are beyond angry and as one looking to spew his hate…well…I’m a little off balance.

So as I stand here looking out over the wasteland that has become _ichigan football, I want to flash back to a better time. Back to 2006 when a #1 Ohio State met a #2 Michigan for the one of the greatest games college football has ever known. It was in the run up to that year that I was asked by CSTV.com to participate in a “Battle of the Blogs.” Standing across from me that day was Brian Cook of MGoBlog who pointed out the importance of this great game when he said:

…The truth is that Michigan and Ohio State need each other. Believe me, I hate to admit it – I’m typing this poised over the sink in case the gagging becomes too much for my stomach – but it’s true. Like Republicans and Democrats, we need the alien other to irrationally hate. We need to push against them as they push back, lest we fall over. And despite the fact that I have solid information that my esteemed colleague has sexytime with bunny rabbits before consuming their still-living flesh, his existence gives me something to battle against, and thereby his sordid, wretched life is imbued with meaning.

Yes, there are others to battle. Michigan has a lot of rivals. Ask virtually anyone in the Big Ten. But Michigan does not define itself in terms of Wisconsin or Illinois or even Michigan State and Notre Dame. Either of those schools could be teleported to Estonia tomorrow and Michigan football would continue on unperturbed. We could find a suitable non-conference opponent to replace Notre Dame… We could play Central or Western or Temple or whoever in place of State…life would go on.

Suddenly remove Ohio State and Michigan staggers. There is no replacement. Unopposed, they trip forward into a void of meaninglessness. Who does Desmond win his Heisman against? Who does Woodson dominate en route to the National Championship? What is the bright star in Tim Biakabutuka’s career? Who is Sauron in Mordor? Who do we play at the end of the year? In short, what the hell is the point?

At this point Cook went on to accuse me of drinking the blood of newborns, torturing puppies and a number of other things but he eventually returned to The Game:

…Lord knows they [Ohio State fans] wouldn’t know what to do without Michigan. They’d have to focus their hatred on some other state …, but it wouldn’t be the same. That State Out East? That State Down South? Doesn’t have the same ring.

Michigan is defined by Ohio State. Ohio State is defined by Michigan. Their tradition, their best tradition, is each other.

How painfully prophetic those words. Who could have predicted that only three years later we find ourselves towering over those sordid, wretched wraiths with our fifth straight Big Ten Championship, a dozen roses already wilting on the vine, staring down the barrel of our sixth win over our once great rivals. Who could have predicted that I would find myself here today, wanting to lay out a year’s worth of hatred in a way that only Ohio State/Michigan fans can understand but instead, find myself looking into the abyss.

Maybe the letdown after Iowa will be too much. Maybe Mich1AAgan will find an inner resolve, maybe as is tradition with The Game, what has happened during the regular season won’t matter. Then again, maybe pigs will fly out of my ass but I’m not betting on it.

So for now I will pull myself up, strap myself into the old fighting chair and from this point on, pound away at the keyboard like it’s 2006. But before I go, a lone comment on an earlier post caught my ear…a voice that sounded vaguely familiar yet so empty and distant. The hatred is still there but it has turned on itself. Yes, a sworn enemy now seeking the same outcome as me and to be honest, for the same reasons.

I’ll leave you with his thoughts:

“Tell Tressel to do us a favor up north and don’t worry about keeping it out of triple digits. We have a hillbilly we want to send back to WV.”

Not sure what to make of this but the opening spread for The Game puts the Buckeyes as only 12.5 point favorites. Yeah, the boys in Vegas were way off when they opened the Bucks as 17 point favorites over Iowa but Iowa actually has a defense. Seems that in D-Rod’s rush to bring his spread offense to Mich1AAgan, nobody told him they need to line up on the other side of the ball.

Maybe They’re banking on Tress’s conservative nature. Maybe they’re thinking Tress will take it easy on a program that is in an absolute shambles.

I’ll post more in a few on both the Iowa game and the weekend to come.

I don't care what you've seen already, I'm holding out for this uniform.

Yeah, the winner of Saturday’s game will go to the Rose Bowl but don’t you know, Nike is unveiling the throwback uniforms Monday. The uniforms for the Meeechigan game!!

Naturally, my excitement for the uniforms was at a peak this morning as I was contacted by Nike’s p.r. department with a press release about the new uniforms. Of course my excitement was for naught for try as I might, I could not get them to “leak” a photo of the new threads.

What I did get was a press release which to be honest, provides more technical detail then I ever needed to know about what goes on under the pads of a college football player. There’s been lots of discussion about the new uniforms but I thought I’d share the press release below to give you an insight into the marketing that goes on behind this type of thing.

And for those of you playing at home, there is a drinking game. I’ll let you modify the rules as you see fit.

NIKE UNVEILS THE NIKE PRO COMBAT UNIFORM, NIKE FOOTBALL’S LIGHTEST SYSTEM OF DRESS EVER

BEAVERTON, Ore. (November 12, 2009) – Throughout the month of November, 11 elite university football programs will take the field wearing the Nike Pro Combat uniform, a new system of dress and the lightest football uniform Nike has ever created.

Clemson University, the University of Florida, Florida State University, Louisiana State University, the University of Miami, Virginia Tech, the University of Missouri, The Ohio State University, the University of Oklahoma, The University of Texas and TCU are the schools debuting the Nike Pro Combat uniform.

Nike designed the Nike Pro Combat uniform to address the evolution of the game: Today’s players are stronger and faster and the collisions are more violent and explosive than ever before.

Nike also worked closely with coaches and administrators at each university and took great care to bring inspiration to the Nike Pro Combat uniforms that each team will wear. Nike designers gave a nod to teams’ past national championships, drew upon the heritage of the universities’ traditions, and combined these cues into the design aesthetic for each football program.

Superior Lightweight Innovation
The Nike Pro Combat uniform is 37 percent lighter than current designs (23.7 ounces vs. 37.4 ounces). Nike utilized a four-way stretch twill that does not hold sweat or water and as a result, the new uniforms are 46 percent lighter than the current designs when wet. Overall, the Nike Pro Combat uniform, when wet, is still lighter than the teams’ current designs when completely dry.

Designed from the inside out, the Nike Pro Combat uniform begins with the Nike Pro Combat padded base layer. Strategically placed padding zones in the Nike Pro Combat Deflex shorts cover the thighs, hips and tailbone. The padding zones are composed of dual-density foam cells that absorb, deflect and disperse the impact of on-field collisions. A foam grid intersects the cells to maximize impact absorption and increase flexibility. A hard plastic shield covers the thigh padding where impact frequently occurs.

The Nike Pro Combat Deflex shorts are made with Nike Dri-FIT technical fabric to provide superior moisture wicking, helping to keep players dry and cool.

With the padding incorporated into the base layer, players gain greater mobility over traditional padding and the outer uniform becomes a lightweight, breathable shell with a sleek, explosive look.

“Players need their uniforms to be as light as possible so they can play the game at top speed,” said Kris Aman, Global VP and General Manager for Nike Athletic Training, which includes football. “The Nike Pro Combat uniform is a modern system of dress that is dramatically lighter while providing durability and protection.”

Nike scrutinized every detail of the Nike Pro Combat uniform with the goal of shedding as much weight as possible, right down to D-ring on the belt. Nike opted for a titanium D-ring, which is extremely durable and 66 percent lighter than the standard steel belt enclosure.

Engineered high-tenacity yarn inspired by Nike Flywire is incorporated into the high-impact shoulder area. The belt loops have been padded to provide added protection to the hip area without the bulk of traditional hip pads.

The new uniforms also feature improved ventilation and breathability. Side ribbed piping on the uniform pant has been replaced with sublimated Nike Dri-FIT mesh, which not only shaves ounces off of the pant weight but also aids evaporation in key areas. Nike Dri-FIT mesh wraps behind the knees, a key cooling zone on the body. By adding innovative evaporation and cooling zones, the player’s body expends less energy regulating body temperature, leaving more energy for the game. The uniforms will only be available for purchase at start of the 2010 season.

Completing this true system of dress for football is the new Nike Zoom Vapor Fly cleat, which Nike customized for each team featuring their team colors, team logo and chrome-plated outsole. This incredibly lightweight cleat at just 10 ounces is available in 2010. It features Zoom Air cushioning in the heel and Flywire engineering in the medial and lateral quarter panels.

Players will also wear the new Nike Vapor Trail 2.0 gloves, which come together to form each team’s logo on the palm.

Throwback Jersey? Right.

Ohio State Athletic director Gene Smith announced this morning that the Buckeyes will be wearing uniforms paying tribute to the undefeated 1954 Ohio State squad when they take to the field against Michigan. Smith said that the uniforms are part of Nike’s Rivalry program and will feature “cutting-edge fabrics and technology.”

Although the official design’s won’t be unveiled until November 15, one would assume that they look like the uniforms used in 1954. However, this is Nike so who knows what to expect. A photo going around Twitter today (apparently posted by Brandon Smith) has been leaked showing a sample of the uniforms. (at right).

If these are throwback uniforms, wow. Nike’s vision of old school and mine are two entirely different things. If they truly are 1954 style uniforms, I’m all for it. Nothing like going back to the days of Hopalong Cassidy for some good mojo. I’m just not too keen on uniforms “inspired” by the 1954 team. I mean really, look what happens in Oregon when they go looking for uniform inspiration.

Update: 11 Warriors has a “leaked” photo of the uniforms. I’m digging the pants and helmet but what’s with the spiral design on the shoulder. Nike just had to put their spin on it didn’t they.

As a refresher, here’s some images from the 1954 season and a glimpse of what the tribute uniforms might look like:

I'd love to see a uniform like this.

No buckeye leaves on that helmet

Program from 1954 Ohio State Michigan game. Union looks like I remember it.

"Big" Jim Parker -- 248 pounds of hurt. Note the "technical" fabric used in the jersey.

Hopalong...enough said.

1954 Ticket Stub

UPI Reporters Fay Loyd and Kurt Freudenthal convering Ohio State at Purdue. The week before, Loyd had been barred from the press box at the Army/Navy game. We've come a long way haven't we Erin?

Michigan Ohio State

The last two weeks, the Ohio State offense has amazed us all with their dismal play. Did Purdue provide a wake up call or will they struggle yet again?

Here’s your chance to prove your faith (or lack thereof) in the Buckeyes ability to turn things around. I’m giving away two iTunes downloads of Rivalries: The History of Michigan vs. Ohio State. One copy to whoever comes closest to predicting the Buckeyes total yards offense against against Minnesota and another for predicting Pryor’s total passing numbers.

To enter, make your predictions in the comments below. Be sure to include an email where you can be reached (email addresses will be kept private). Predictions will be accepted until game time Sat. Prizes will be given as iTunes downloads so you’ll need an iTunes account to receive your prize and you must be a U.S. resident to win.

Good luck!

UpdateTo keep it simple, with Pryor, we’ll go with total yards passing. If you want to throw in completion/pass attempts, we’ll use that for a tie breaker.