And, you thought I’d end on lucky Number 13? Like Punxsutawney Phil, I thought I’d stick my head out to end your finger-pointing and crying. Erase everything from your minds. Cease and desist. You’re good fans and the Buckeyes are worth cheering.
It shouldn’t be a shock to anyone that OSU lost to LSU. We were rated 3rd preseason in the weak Big 10 with a patsy schedule. Serendipity or dumb luck allowed us to sneak in the back door. At least we didn’t get screwed like Georgia. They were 4th and OSU was 3rd going into the Missouri and the Mountaineers choking. The “Show Me State?” I’ll show you a spanking to Kansas. And, Pittsburgh beating WVA. Please… Where’d LSU come from?
As an English major it makes plain sense to me that 3rd goes to 1st and 4th goes to second. The University of Spoiled Children (USC) looked like axe murderers at the end of the season — a little too late. Pete Carol lobbied and cried like Oklahoma’s Bob Stoops (who was rated 9th in BCS strength of schedule going into their last game). Bob are you smoking dope or are you stupid?
Okay, the BCS isn’t perfect, but it’s all we have and we tweak it every year. If all you babies were in the championship game, you wouldn’t utter a freaking word would you? Pete needs to win another championship before the New York Jets offer him the coaching job to derail the guys who kicked him to the curb, Bill Belichek’s (I mean Mr. Kraft’s) New England Patriots. Good luck. You’d do a better job hosting The Price Is Right.
Michigan was preseason 5th in the country and look what Appalachian State did to them. Face it. It was a weird year as NostroCraigus stated earlier and repeatedly. How many times do I have to hit you on the nose with a newspaper to get the point across? I was as pensive and leery as every one of you.
Now, let me rub salve on your American Express Card — I mean wounds. Here’s the breaking and final news for the 2008 Buckeyes. We have 19 out of 22 starters returning for next year including James “Little Animal” Laurinaitis. Most teams are happy to return half their team, but 86%? Yes, I cheated with a calculator because I know one of you smarmy weasels would correct me and email bile my way. Where are you Nitany Cryin’s? I miss your spite. Gus and Ollie, you out there? I know better. They’re out ice-fishing (hiding from their wives until the Packers game on Sunday).
Anyway, other than exiting senior fullback Dionte Johnson, OSU needs to replace only two starters, DL Vernon Gholston who should be a 1st round Pro and MLB Larry Grant. You can’t blame Gholston for taking the money. But, hats off to the young gentlemen taking the high road that are going education first, then cash secondly. They’re pissed off and are on their way to a third BCS trip in 3 years. Where the heck are we going? Email me and I’ll reserve a Timeshare tomorrow.
So, we lost two championships back-to-back. Maybe we’ll win another national championship for our third try. But, hey, we’d be there 4 in 7 years. Gators and Tigers, SEC — shut up please. Notre Who? OSU might even be ranked the preseason #1 for next year. Great…
Michigan Freshman phenom, Ryan Mallet is considering transferring to A&M, Tennessee, UCLA — anywhere but Michigan. Is this writing on the wall? With yet another year of eligibility left, although he looked poised and tough winning the Alamo Bowl, we know Chad Henne is almost as bad as Chad “Choke” Navarre. With new run-and-shoot coach from West Virginia, Rich Rodriguez might win the battle for all-world QB, Terrelle Pryor — where Michigan can fully utilize his Vince Young skill set — and he can start on a hapless Michigan basketball team.
Bad news for Michigan though. Not only did mouthy running back (0-4) Hart graduate, but WR Mario Manninham and WR Adrian Arrington are leaving early for the Pros. Who’s Pryor going to throw to — his own shadow? If you’re going to run and suck, you might as well go to Penn State where they know how to run and suck. Pryor lives in PSU’s back yard too. Easy decision if it were me. Wow. And, Michigan’s new coach is being sued for $4 million for breaking his contract. Looks like bad theatre up North.
OSU’s 3rd-string “Gunslinger” Schoenhoft transferring to Delaware might be telltale as well as the Michigan QB gyrations. Antonio “I was set up for soliciting prostiution” Henton is a scrambling QB with about 30% less stuff than Pryor – and with starting QB Todd Boeckman leaving, Pryor could be king of the Horshoe.
